• ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND
• by Lewis Carroll
• [rated by PBS readers as #28]
• 110 pages + 1,000 pages of intro
• wrapped inside a 600 page two book set – sheesh!

Okay. Okay. Have I ever got a lot to tell you! There is even a confession wrapped inside all of this that I’m rather ashamed of. Whee!

So my local book store, Readers, had Alice and had Lord of the Rings. Now, I saw the movie of Lord of the Rings which, as far as I could glean, was a continuous battle with Orlando Bloom and his shocking white hair and a whole lot of arrows.

Yet! A whole gablillion people love it, so I’m open to the tiniest, remote possibility that I didn’t really get the lion’s share of what was going on there. And if it worked as a movie, it was due to the phenomenal success of the book, so I’m hip. Ready to plunge in.

Here is where I seemed to go WAY wrong. Alice? What a delightful repast after my never ending adventure with The Shack. So I decided to start with it. Needed to have the other book anyway, so no biggie.

There is an introduction at the front of the book. And not just any introduction. Entire groves of trees are gone to print up this introduction, in which he tells of Carroll’s basically uncontested romantic love and sexual fixation with a tiny girl named Alice.

He used to take Alice and her two sisters out and after a picnic would end up entertaining them with wacky stories. Well, really. Of course he did. What else do you do to hold the attention of a ten year old – or however old she was.

One day, his story was especially entertaining and Alice urged him to write this one down. He pursued it, though with the same attitude he would have had if she had asked him to lick her boots. He wouldn’t have relished it but he would have done it nonetheless.

Eventually, by the time it comes out, Alice has gone through puberty so he isn’t into her anymore. I know. Lovely back story, ain’t it? My.

Any way I have this problem. I finish books and movies. Now that sounds resourceful, but I mean I almost always finish them all – even if they suck!  See, when I added that last part, you can see that it goes from resourceful to using poor judgment! I keep telling myself that a terrible movie is all going to come together in the last five minutes. The fact that that outcome seldom happens does not seem to factor into my involuntary reaction to keep going.

Well, I quit today. After 28 pages of introduction and just about the same amount to go, I took my road less traveled. Besides, with an introduction just about as long as the book itself!, I still don’t really think that it will cast any deep insight into the Mad Hatter. So here goes. I’m entering a pedophile’s fantasy land. Whee!

Strangely looking forward to it. And if I don’t love it, I already know with 100% conviction that I will love it more than I loved the intro!

2/16/20

HALFWAY THROUGH –

Remember not to be too impressed. The book is slightly longer than 100 pages.

My overriding amazement reading this is that I suddenly think I’ve never read it through before! That only seems amazing because the characters are so indelibly part of my childhood. And what’s more, I was in some kind of Alice play in college, but it truly sucked and I think the director wrote the thing, which would go a long way towards not recommending it.

So yeah, I’m hip to Alice, the Mad Hatter, the Cheshire Cat, but not the tale from start to finish. Which bodes really well for how vivid the characters are.

The story fares worse, as least for this little buckaroo. I remembered that Alice got bigger and smaller, but she gets bigger and smaller so often in the first half of this that my vertigo starts to kick in. Oy.

Also, because I did read that half an introduction, you can’t help but read this through the eyes of this old guy who is desperate to entertain this little girl and the whole thing gets tainted to a creepy degree.

Of course I’ll finish it. But I’m not thrilled. My juices are pointing towards the next great tale. Could there be a Monte Cristo in my future? Hopefully. And not of the sandwich kind.

2/22/20

Cool date, anyway! 2/22/20!

Ding dong, the Mad Hatter is dead!

I know there are people who think this is a classic. There are, in fact, tons of people who think this is a classic! They picked it at #28 on the list!

I, sadly, am not one of those people.

Do I even get it? Kinda sorta. I get that, much like Dr. Seuss, an author I like much better (I think I do anyway – it’s been a while…). Basically, when insanity meets imagination meets a dexterity in conveying it, therein we have a classic.

I’m trying to think of a childhood book I like. Oh, I know! I love Harold and His Purple Crayon! Love it! Love Harold!

This does not equal any compulsion I might have to nominate it, however, for one of the world’s great reads. I’m just happy to have a copy of it that I hug every now and again.

And Alice – news flash everyone – is not written all that well! Seriously! Like I said earlier, the symbols and characters are emblazoned in my mind, but having just read the book, they are no more emblazoned than right before that.

It makes me think that along the line, I have seen them animated in a way (film? tv?) that really brings them to life. Cuz let me tell you, this text doesn’t.

I am amused at how many of these books in this project have been so opposite my guesses about them. Ones I think will be easy or fun, the opposite. Ones I’ve dreaded have been great.

I think I might be mystery lazy. I’ve been happily in a rut. And it’s a rut that I’ll be in again. But this is shaking me up in all sorts of positive ways.

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Oh! I want to make a note about a past book.

I just saw Greta Gerwig’s Little Women. I vote on these independent spirit awards every year and in so doing, I watch all manner of small films. So I came to this quite late. I felt so darned qualified to comment on it since I had just slogged through the book this past year.

She did a magnificent job! I couldn’t believe the life she breathed into that tale that simply wasn’t there before. I was a fan of hers from Ladybird, but this effort was truly extraordinary.

Having said that, she did take a few liberties that made me chuckle. The biggest liberty, probably, was that the sort of balding, tubby tutor that Meg falls for in the book was played in the movie by that ridiculously hunky guy from Granchester! Are you shitting me?

Any woman on the planet would be willing to go broke with him! And if there was an argument about money, just forget about it and take him upstairs to bed. I’m sure that his skills in that department could soothe any ruffled feather you might have!

So onward from here. I love to go to restaurants for lunch and read. It is my oldest ritual and I never get to do it enough. These titles are funny to take with you.

When I was reading James Baldwin, I practically draped the book across my food, I was so proud to read it! Alice? Not so much. And I’ve already made plans to be reading something else at the same time as I read 50 Shades of Gray. I don’t mind people thinking I’m wacky sexually. I’m not, but I don’t mind that rep near as much as I mind anyone saying I was reading that piece of drivel.

Watch it be my next one. Here goes!

Oh, also I have been thinking about reading Gone With the Wind all day. Particularly strange, because I have never before had even a thought about reading it! So I may have to throw it in with whatever I pick next…

After picking, I am left with looking over Gone With the Wind, as well as the two remaining titles I have – Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time and Pride & Prejudice (which I’ve read a bunch and not looking forward to. I’ll look them over and see which one pulls me in!

LATER, SAME NIGHT –

Well, first off, Pride & Prejudice hid from me. I really couldn’t find it. Though I hadn’t wanted to read it, the OCD part of me will keep rooting around in subsequent days to find it, as I know I have it and it will drive me a little crazy! But for now, it obviously did not want its seat at the table.

I looked at Curious Incident and it looks absolutely great. Can’t wait to read it….

But I’m going to have to wait – because Gone With the Wind, after never before finding a spot on my mental call sheet, came into my head this morning and wouldn’t go away.

And you know? I’m strangely not even that freaked by the 959 pages. I’m ahead of schedule with this blog, so I can take a couple of months to read it if need be. Probably one of the top maybe five longest books on the list, but I’ve learned that that doesn’t mean a thing either.

And I have been jones-ing for a juicy novel. Maybe my mental soup cauldron thought of the list and this came up.

Ah well, one way or another, we are off to the races!